Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Golmal, God, Gravity

It was nearing the end of the school year and the class was worse than it was when the year started off. The girls were okay, because they could be bullied into submission but the boys were beyond control. They made fun of the old man who could be seen brushing his teeth in his underwear through the classroom window. He ultimately threatened to sue the school, which caused the principal much distress.They occasionally infuriated a police officer. They threw chairs and benches down from the third floor just to see what happened and just generally engaged in obnoxious behavior just for the fun of it.

I really liked my class boys. I would never have admitted it back then, but they were my main source of entertainment. Ofcourse there were teachers who were rather amusing, like the History guy who referred to all of us as 'Hotty Fellows', each time he got annoyed with us. Or the French guy who could never tell the guys apart from the girls. But the boys always had the best ratings, that is, until Mr. Joseph came into our lives.

Joseph came into our lives because of the boys and their unbelievable acts of shame that brought me much amusement. Our maths teacher who I thought had given up all hope on us, proved me wrong by bringing Joseph to class. It was her final attempt, albeit in vain, to inspire our class boys to behave in a civilized manner. Her intentions, I'm sure, were good but her choice of character to evoke said inspiration was rather bad. Horrible, actually. 

Joseph was the head of the Mathematics department and he talked like he had a rubber ball stuck in his mouth, which meant that one needed at least 5 seconds buffer time to process and understand each of his sentences. And my teacher thought this man could change the boys with his moving speech? Go figure!

True to his name, Joseph was a staunch Christian and made that very clear from the start. He droned on for an hour about insignificant things which were hastily forgotten. As his parting gift to us, he decided to prove to us that God exists. To do this, he rather impolitely snatched a pencil from a first bencher who looked like he was on the verge of shooting himself out of boredom and threw it up in the air. As we had expected, the pencil fell back down. Catching the pencil with much skill, Joseph told us in a very matter-of-fact tone, "I drew dee penchil ub in dee air. By deed id comb bag down? Begoz ob God !"

I dove under the desk unable to stop laughing and the atheist friend asked her shoes, " Gravity! Fukin' Gravity! Hasn't he ever heard of Gravity! " 

It was the best maths class, EVER!



5 comments:

Sam said...

Hahahaha! Sweet-ass guy. :P

oof ya! said...

hotty fellows :D i love that phrase :D it has made my whole day. thanks for sharing !!!!

Raveena said...

@ Sam - Not literally, he wasn't! :P

@ oof ya! - Thanks for the comment, it made my day! :)

nikita said...

good shit raviney, good shit :)

Akshaya said...

I remember this.
How clearly, I remember this day.
:D
You should write more about school. Remember all the shitty drama that used to happen between our dear fellow classmates? Now, it feels like ages ago in some tiny corner of my brain!