Sunday, February 01, 2009

Move damnit!




I am honking at you.

Which means you have to move.

Move to the left please or I might kill you.

I am doing drunken driving and hence, I am allowed to kill you.
It's part of the job description.

Allow me to introduce myself.
I am a professional drunken driver. I drive on pavements only and I honk at you when I'm bored and I ask you to move to the left. If you don't, I honk some more.

Peem. Peem. Peem.

The truth is, I'm not really drunk. I am only pretending to be drunk to get a job as a drunken driver.

Did I convince you?

You see, I am going to fail the boards and have no future and no money.

So I'm thinking of becoming a drunken driver.
The last time I checked, no qualifications are necessary.

I just need to be drunk.

I don't even need to know how to drive! ( Which works very well for me since I can't even balance a cycle)

Now suddenly, My life seems filled with possibilities.