Sunday, February 01, 2009

Move damnit!

Peem.

Peem.

Peeem.

I am honking at you.

Which means you have to move.

Move to the left please or I might kill you.

I am doing drunken driving and hence, I am allowed to kill you.
It's part of the job description.

Allow me to introduce myself.
I am a professional drunken driver. I drive on pavements only and I honk at you when I'm bored and I ask you to move to the left. If you don't, I honk some more.

Peem. Peem. Peem.

The truth is, I'm not really drunk. I am only pretending to be drunk to get a job as a drunken driver.

Did I convince you?

You see, I am going to fail the boards and have no future and no money.

So I'm thinking of becoming a drunken driver.
The last time I checked, no qualifications are necessary.

I just need to be drunk.

I don't even need to know how to drive! ( Which works very well for me since I can't even balance a cycle)

Now suddenly, My life seems filled with possibilities.

:)

14 comments:

Chriz said...

what happened?

you failed in exams?

miss adichaangalaaa?

boyfriend ran away?

Jean said...

@ Chriz

I've failed in just about every exam I've written this year. Which one are you asking about exactly? *smiles sheepishly*

No. But she gave me lots of homework! :( But I didn't so any of it! :) So she threw me out of class! :|

Never had a boyfriend to worry about him running away. But if that DID happen, I'll get drunk and drive over him :P

JollyRoger said...

Dear just chill, evalavo senjitom, itha seiya maatomaa?

Vishwanath said...

Mr. squirrel wouldn't be very pleased.

El Fuego said...

Why? Have you been so much tortured by your teachers at school? :O

GPS said...

Barney!!
You seem really optimistic you know!!!

Raphael said...

don't you worry,
the way things are going on with me,
i might be joining you a pretending-to-be-drunk driver.
but!
i can cycle!!
so that's one point more than you!

Jean said...

@ Jollyroger

Hey! That's a movie dialogue! :P

@ Vishwanath

Mr.Squirrel is rather impressed by my career choice!

@ El Fuego

Ahem! :|

@ GPS

I know. I know. I always have been!

@ Raphael

Hey! I don't need any competition! x(

Another brick in the wall said...

i have a career option for you! why don't be my assistant and we can open a lab of our own and conduct evil experiments and convert humans into dinosaurs! :D

Jean said...

@ Another Brick In The Wall

I have a better idea.

Why don't I get drunk and drive over you for practice? That's what friends are for, right? :)

Abhishek said...

Everytime I make tea, I have only thing in mind..
Always keep your options open

Trinity said...

Its not as simple as you think...
chennai roads are crazier and will run over you even of you aren't alert for a sec!!!


how is praveen?

ɳɪα said...

Hahaha!!
:D

Dissillusioned Caffine Addict said...

hmmmm

Exams....if i am not wrong is it not said that "Failures are stepping stones to success"

Drunk Driving....well i am pro in that :)...all i need is a good bottle of whiskey, some peanuts and i am good to go. I am a bi-pedal (or is it Quadra-Pedal) drunk attracted to head on lamp post crashes and culvert leaning :)

@Chriz

Run away BF/GF.....never be a drunk driver or matter of fact never even get drunk on such matters for you will be regret later that you wasted a good "spirit" in the name of a lousy soul.