Sunday, December 28, 2008
- My cousin and I got yelled at by 3 middle aged ugly men who were under the impression that we were prying on them while they were bathing. Egoistic bastards!
- I was chased by a goat. Not so much chased as stared at, actually. But I ran for my life anyway.
- I heard the worst music group in the world perform. Yes, Backstreet Boys and Boyzone included. They perform at the local church choir. I finally know what wrong pitch, non sync and scary voices mean.
- We played family cricket. My 9 year old cousin and my 25 year old brother were the captains. The other players included 5 clueless girls. It was soon established, without a doubt, that I sucked most out of the 5. Our cricket involved a lot of dangerous swinging of the bat and some aimless throwing of the ball which more often than not, ended up in the neighbor's yard. After an hour of excessive sweating, tons of family jokes and a lot of rolling around in the mud ( on my part), we decided that the game was a draw.
- It has been established that kids hate me. It is finally official. My little cousin started crying because I touched her. Crying, yes. With tears and everything.
- I got on a train to come home.
There is a lot of noise around me, there is never enough time to do everything I want to do, There are no more kids running around wanting to play with me, I get to worry about my life and where it is heading, meal times only last around 10 times and everything is just a little more rushed and complicated now. In short, Life is back to normal.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Do you feel offended even when you know they aren't trying to make you feel bad?
Do you ever feel offended when your friends judge you for doing something which they used to do?
I feel offended.
I also feel angry and upset.
The other side of the coin isn't so much fun.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
I beg to differ though, knowing the people I know.
But they do have a point; I sleep too much, eat too much and refuse to move too much. There are times when I often get up and wonder who the girl in the mirror is. How did I let myself turn into the person I am now?
I feel guilty thinking about the hours I spend in front of the TV because I just don’t want to think, the number of books which I’ve left unread because I just don’t feel like it, the countless number of unbelievably bad movies that I’ve watched just to waste some time, the number of opportunities I’ve thrown away. I feel most guilty thinking about all the empty spaces in my Life.
Maybe if I worked. Maybe if I worked my rear end off. Maybe then I’d get what I want and I’d be happy. But there’s just one problem in that: I don’t know what the hell I want.
I mean, seriously people, give me a break.
Do I have to have my entire life figured out all the time?
Because I don’t have a frickin’ clue where my life is going.
Everything is spiraling out of control and I can’t seem to do a thing about it.
Yea, 12th can be hard. I know. I’ve heard.
But bloody hell, it shouldn’t.
Because it makes a person very very frustrated and makes them want to kill someone and that’s not a very good thing.
Yes, I’m just ranting. I need a break.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The qualities which make you who you are? And yet destroy everything you have?
We share the same kind of sorrows.
We find happiness in the same sort of things.
Little things make a difference to us.
We are empathetic towards each other.
We hardly talk, but we understand.
We are so different and yet, so similar.
And still, I despise him.
I despise him because he is everything I am and don't want to be.
I wish he would change. I keep telling him that he should in the hope that I wouldn't have to be reminded of my faults so often.
But he says he's content being who he is.
He's smug. So am I.
I say I'm happy being who I am too.
But I am happy.
Maybe he is too.
I will never know.
I hate him too much to ask.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Beanie is no longer here in India.
I miss the conversations we used to have about books, music, theater and people.
It didn't hit me so hard when she left and I can still live with the fact that she is no longer in the next class arranging her books in ascending order for the millionth time; But I still miss her.
Smilie can't afford to hang out with us anymore. She has too many problems at home.
She's left a vacant spot that no one can occupy.
In a different country with his own problems, fighting to make his dream come true, The Nightcrawler is miles away from me.
It's upsetting that he's no longer a phone call away. No one can listen to my cribs as long as he can. We talk once in a while. He laughs at me. And it makes me happy to hear him laugh like a child. So I decide not to crib.
I haven't seen much of Lulu since she shifted schools.
We live a few streets away from each other, but I never seem to have the time to go and visit her. Does that make me a bad friend?
Maami's class is on the other end of the corridor. I'm too lazy to walk all the way there. Besides, I hate her class boys who scream every time I enter their class.
So I sit in class and wait for her to visit me.
She walks in, in her usual duck like fashion, waves her arms all around, smiles at everyone and starts laughing when she looks at me.
She's the same.
But everything else has changed. I have changed.
I spend my time in school sitting in a class where I don't fit in.
I fall asleep in class; I get up with my muscles aching, my head pounding and my classmates laughing at me. I do it again the next day because I can't control it.
Astro comes to see me. She tells me about the atrocious behavior of the boys in her class. We laugh a lot and she soon leaves.
I sit and read a book. I just can't get myself to finish it. It irritates me that I don't care about what I'm reading. I don't seem to care about anything. I soon fall asleep again.
I wake up in time for economics, random thoughts go through my head as three teachers walk in and out of class.
It's finally time to leave. I listen to Doodler's jokes as we fight our way through a group of 8th graders who can't wait to get home.
My mom says Doodler has grown up to be a very beautiful girl. I agree. She has always been beautiful to me, on the inside.
Sahara says something funny in tam. I'm unable to stop laughing.
I think about it and I decide I like listening to her talk in tam, it makes me happy.
I get home. Everyone's too busy in their own world.
I'm lonely, hungry and tired.
A bowl of hot soup would really help.
I wish my life was different but I know I would never trade my life for something better.
I think about my brother. I wonder if he ever felt like this when he was growing up. I wonder if he was anything at all like me. I decide that's highly improbable.
I suddenly miss him. He likes me even though I laugh too much and pretend to be a walrus. I love him for that.
I put on music and wonder what I want to do.
I listen to a guy singing about everlasting love.
I scoff and change the song.
I wonder why I don't have girlie crushes anymore.
Cupid probably hates me. So do all the boys.
I decide that I'm never gonna know what it's like to be in love.
I listen to more music. Most of it feels like noise.
I think about Boo. How can I feel he's a part of my life after such a short while? It somehow makes no sense.
I'm unable to figure out if he makes my life simpler or just complicates it too much.
I wonder why my life is so much about me?!
I get bored of these random thoughts.
I get bored of everything.
At the end of the day, I realize that all is need is a hug.
But no one's around to give me one.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
It made me laugh. It made me cry.
It warmed my heart the whole way through.
"When he gave us our air-rifles Atticus wouldn't teach us to shoot. Uncle Jack instructed us in the rudiments thereof; he said Atticus wasn't interested in guns. Atticus said to Jem, "I'd rather you shot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." That was the only time I ever hear Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it. "You're father's right," she said. "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mocking bird."
Sahara:I can trigger mucus to come outta ma mouth
Sahara:Whaaat?!! Its a personal talent........like burping!*grins*
Me: Hey! What's up?
Sahara (very proudly) : You know, my sister gave me a dare to lick my toes and I did it!"
Astro: You look different today.
Astro: Because your eyes are open
Me: My eyes are always open.
Astro: But you look different with your eyes open today.
"You are excreting our frandship. But I have my imaginary frand Billy the Pornstar. He's a loyal and faithful frand. He will destroy you." - Sahara
Me: Aaaaargh!! I just wanna kill myself.
Sahara: Okay! I can suggest SEVEN fun ways for you to do it.
"I said you get out, You do that or get out" - ML
Random guy (on chat) : Who are you?
Species Girl: I am spike.
RG (Irritated) : Spike, My ass!
SG: oh! Won't it hurt?
"The birds will get a heart attack and die" - Astro
Me: My BS sir said, "Are you able to clear?"
Sahara: That's what they ask people after a urine test.
"I will throw your books in the dustbin or in the outside" - ML
Me (very irritated) : G'lost! Go screw urself!
Sahara: Ummm....Thatz technically impossible